Your answers haven't been added yet. That's because this is a manual process still. I suck. Sue me. And of course, blank spots are where people didn't answer. Except for a technical difficulty I had for three respondants. The difficulty? My stupidity.

1. Who is she?

• Alexis
• Lexi
• A figment of our imaginations
• html goddess
• a small, juicy froooot
• zelig
• Your friendly neighborhood coffeegirl
• A is for identity
• She's been trying to tell you since 1994
• your hallucination
• Alexis's just this gal, y'know?
• Figment of your imagination.
• princess of cyberpulsation
• a pleasant buttercup
• Goddess Extraordinaire

• Hydrocarbons
• Electrons and duct tape
• fairy dust and goose down
• caffine
• juice
• ether
• Scientists are working around the clock on this very question. While no clear concensus has been reached, "a tough mettle" has been scratched off the list
• Sugar and spice
• Sugar, spice, electrons, and toothpaste.
• your worst nightmares
• people, PEOPLE! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
• Bytes.
• cream cheese
• butter
• Everything nice.

• Yes
• Cleaned daily with nifty keyboard vacuum
• yes, with her belly button duster
• damn right!
• of course!
• no
• Several years ago, an investigative reporter was brave enough to explore and found that it was, in fact, clean
• Only her yoga instructor knows for sure
• Aren't you afraid to ask her? I am.
• with vodka and sandpaper
• doubtless
• She doesn't have one.
• only on tuesdays
• yep.
• Squeaky!

• No
• Back in high school when she still used one
• nope, only pencils (extra fibre, you know)
• so much so, she can shit plastic
• I prefer to say that she chews it studiously
• only pencils
• Yes. She also chews her monito nervously.
• Bad for her teeth
• Only before deadlines.
• alexis is never nervous
• wouldn't anyone chew her pen nervously?
• No.
• not since high school when Jessie thought she looked cute doing it
• yes.
• No, she has other uses for her teeth

• Court order
• Loves being watched during electrical intercourse
• it's actually a consotium of 150 women, 3 guys, and 1 monkey
• she's such a giver
• She can't help it.
• it's exhibionist while keeping her clothes on, ,
• Because she's insane
• Because it's there
• She's been trying to tell you since 1994
• boredom
• for kicks?
• She cares.
• her mother told her it was preferable to her earlier predeliction for shopping naked
• she's prolific
• Exhibitionist with a contact phobia

• Jazz and Blues
• Before or after her morning shower?
• banana and strawberry mojos
• strawberries
• lemons
• chanel no. 5
• Chanel N.5, coffee, and cigarette smoke, combined.
• Honey
• Wool
• sex
• see question 2
• Toasted modems.
• whipped cream
• butter
• Wonderful Pheremones. Oh the scent can drive you mad.

• Levi's
• Knits her own clothes
• second hand rose, I think
• Gap
• Alex is not a mall-ware type.
• b.r.
• Banana Republic. Aside from being expensive (requirement#1), all their clothes are LINED where appropiate
• Grab and go and the hell with the fashion nazis
• Sweats and a t-shirt.
• calvin klein
• Gap?
• Gap.
• she recently discovered three 40 year old Chanel suits in her grandmother's closet and now wears those exclusively
• old navy
• Victoria's Secret

• Chick
• Owns Gal.com
• yes
• probably...not
• She ignores it.
• she finds it quaint
• She hates the word 'gal' regardless of usage, preferring 'hussy'
• Probably but call her grrl and you'll get a waffle iron shoved down your throat
• Probably. I'm not brave enough to try it, are you?
• she's never been called 'gal' before
• Most likely
• Yes.
• only if she is awake
• yes.
• Yes

• Obsessive
• All three
• extraperted
• intra-verted
• She gets along
• introverted
• Depends on the mood. The only constant description runs of her personality runs along the lines of 'oppressively mothering and cold' which she oddly takes as some kind of compliment
• No answer given
• She's online- what more must one say?
• she's *inverted*, stupid
• introverted
• Introverted.
• she has vertigo
• extraverted
• Extraverted

• Ditto
• nope
• Are you talking sexually or emotionally? One leans towards the latter
• any introvert who writes that much for people to see is perverse
• Perhaps.
• not since the advent of the Chanel suits
• no.
• Not she.

• "Should be Sedated" - a never release Ramones tune
• Every song by Richard Hell and the Void-Oids
• nope
• which punks songs aren't about her
• no.
• only punk rock songs that are posted to iuma
• Several. Unfortunately, she doesn't listen to punk, so she has no idea. So don't tell.
• no
• No, I don't think so.
• ya, it was titled.."You probably think this song is about ya, don't ya, don't ya"
• no.
• "I pulled the plug"

• There is no such thing - if you insist on saying this, they will detsroy you
• And the Trilateral Commission - who do you think runs the world anyway?
• Refer to number 5
• unfortunately
• Of course she is
• (laughter)
• Yes. You're next.
• only on sundays
• I think she's lying about that.
• legends in their own minds
• yes.
• But of course

• Duh.
• yeah
• that too
• yes
• Duh, it very obviously MUST be the former
• yes
• Yeah, there we go.
• persistent perhaps?
• talent and cabal.
• Talented in any medium

• Monica was on vacation
• Smuggles cigars from Cuba in her spare time
• because her pixie dust was all over the stars. oops.. oh! you mean *that* starr report. puhleeze!!
• she sold those cigars, didn't she
• Just lucky.
• she's ubiquitous
• You're not? Hmph, you need to get out more.
• cheap thrills
• The president invented her, stupid!
• 'Cause she paid $25 to have a Starr named after her
• she is?
• The dress was really red.

• Ernie
• Who do you think corrupted Bert?
• corroded. not corrupted.
• not as much as Ernie
• BEEEEEEEEERRRRRRTTTTTTT!
• only ernie
• She is actually the secret daughter of Bert. Noone knows this except her brother, a small wrinkled iguana who lives in an amazonian planet in the Betawayfar System. She is kept away from Bert, for fear he will 'sense' her.
• Bert Is A Puppet!
• Yep, you bet.
• no, Ernie
• yes.
• It was Ernie you fool.

• Loud, four letter words.
• If a man spoke in the woods - and a women wasn't around to hear, would he still be wrong?
• fairies are silent especially in the woods
• no, but she'd write about it
• She would squeak.
• "ouch"
• Oof
• Only a little sound.
• No.
• this is a family show
• no.
• Alex can be quite noisy

• Less filling.
• Like a marshmallow star
• well. duh!
• I bet
• Ask Gregory
• ask gregory
• Ask Gregory
• Doubtless.
• What?!
• depends on who's eating her
• sorta.
• An people lust after her lucky charms. Oh such fun to eat.

• No, Gregory just hit the wrong button
• Saddam made fun of her home page
• she comes in peace
• no. no no no no.
• no.
• she thought she was taking a sweater off the rack
• Yes. You're next.
• No.
• In a way, probably.
• no, she ordered Bill to quack at Iraq
• no.
• She was otherwise occupied

• Four
• 300 in Photoshop at 72dpi
• 3482
• 43
• 1
• four
• A bowling pin?
• Only one or two.
• Gee. I'd say 1/2.
• depends on how the image is sized
• 8
• Measure her arse, measure the pin. The rest is left for the student to determine

• three
• Waiting for Gregory to write about it
• .002
• Ask Gregory
• Ask Gregory
• seven
• Ask Gregory
• Quite a lot probably.
• Um. A bunch.
• screen tasted bad and i gave up..you tell me
• 3
• 42

• She answer to 'pin' question
• Like every other woman on the web, she's been made up on the fly by a 48 year old white male graphic designer with serious gender issues to deal with
• sigh. again refer to number 5
• she's a witch. Burrrrrrn her!!!!
• That is her way
• see answer no. 1
• There was once a top secret program run by the United States government called the 'Litchfield Experiment' in which a group of genetically controlled children were raised and monitored. The boys were dubbed 'Adam,' the girls, 'Eve.'
• The pictures are all fakes, she is only a social construct.
• digital editing, silly.
• her sugar daddy is a plastic surgeon
• metamorphing
• It's her way

• She will become the web
• Actually, it's been awhile since her last post
• when hell freezes over
• will hell ever freeze over?
• She'll move on to the Next Big Thing.
• the web will start working her
• When the money runs out? Er, I mean when the heart of it is gone, when the dream has faded, or when Lance is dead. Whichever comes first.
• That would be for her to cease existence.
• Yes.
• the answer isn't clear
• no.
• Yes

• You, me, everybody
• Back off, dude
• Something about jack frost, a gang og goth-fang faries, and a little old lady
• well, you gotta lay off her man...
• (I couldn't help myself)
• sometimes gregory needs to be told what to do
• While Alex loves her fans, and loves to spend time with her fans, when the fans start licking her, well. Action must be taken.
• dunno...
• She loves people.
• restraining...wasn't it retraining?
• i don't know.
• I can't tell you that. She'd kill me.

• Technocolor
• Color
• techni-colour
• 216-web safe color
• sepia tones
• technicolor cinemascope
• She dreams in sepia. Actually, no, that's a lie. Last night she dreamt of transparent fishes filled will pulsating eggs, and small green leeches that got caught in her hair, so this woman took a straight razor.. hey! Wait a second! Ew, dear God, it's recurring. Gog. Too awful. Anyone want to take a crack at interpreting it?
• color
• Black and white.
• black and white, much more elegant
• color
• She dreams in bed, silly.

• Hemmingway's, actually
• She's his ghost writer
• beats me
• who here can say they haven't?
• Well, you can only write about what you know, so know more!
• see answer no. 14
• Yes, Georgie and I were.. close. Once. Well, several times, actually.
• Yes, but the play was never published.
• No.
• yes, Buffy, the persian kitty
• yes.
• Wrong Alex

• No, the facial expressions of pain were first
• He made fun of her knitted sweater
• no
• perhaps
• no
• no
• Not very satisfactorily
• DIE DIE DIE! no.
• No.
• nah, that was in Vegas
• no.
• That's not how she got to Folsem

• Cashews
• High in protein - low in dead animal parts
• they grow underground - go figure!
• peanuts? have you seen those fancy-schmancy pistacchios? Whats the deal with them?
• the glasses and cane turn her on
• Peanuts are an excellent source of protein!
• they're good.
• They're good.
• one bite and she's a goner
• peanuts?
• It was a free zone, what did you expect?

• Inferiority Complex
• Anthology
• Afterdinner
• Scott Cohen's Untitled