Random Thoughts:

March 11, 1999 Actual ad in New York Post, January 29, 1999


Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last weekend. Wife knows fucking everything.

That was just too funny to pass up.

Oh, by the way, I met Scott Cohen on the 9th. He's the first 'Web personality' I've met, from what I can remember. I mean, when I was a kid and all, I used to meet people from BBS's all the time. But now, well, I don't find it such a big urge. But I figured, hey, I'm gonna be in Boston, and he's halfway normal. Not like some of the Jerry Springer shows that go on around 90% of the non-commercial parts of the web.

I would also like to re-iterate that people who are younger than I am by an obvious amount of years should not be carding me. Or at least if they DO card me, they shouldn't ask for more than one form of ID, or ask me if I laminated my license myself, and then ask their 'manager' who is also younger than I am and then turn me down.

The next person who does so will receive a quick slap upside the back of their head.

Unless, of course, I'm in a jovial mood again.

I would like to note that I did not get kicked out of the Back Bay Brewing Company, even after I removed a lightbulb from a candlabra because it was flickering. Actually, they were very polite about asking me for the lightbulb back.

Oh, Scott? Other than needing to learn how to properly 'rock' a car out of snow, he's all right. Dare I say he's more normal than some off-line people I know. It was a pleasure. But, getting stuck in snow with a manual transmission is simply disgraceful. I mention that because I figured he'd at least mention that I (cough cought, expensed, cough cough) picked up the tab.

March 4, 1999 I just don't understand why people can't walk up and down escalators. Have we become so lazy as a society that we have to actually wait for some machine to bring us up 10 steps instead of walking at the same time?

Serendipity is when you have the chance to reconcile the past and make something that was good, better through shedding past happenings you smack yourself in the head for today. Closure is such a good thing. Re-opening closed doors is an even better thing. Am I being obtuse, perhaps obscure? Yes, I am. Deal with it, I'm in a good mood.

February 10, 1999 Chunk was someplace I always liked to go to see cool new things. To read the writing of someone that wasn't pretentious and full of themselves. To steal code and then try and figure it out.

Chunk influenced me. From clean navigation, to the use of offensive words as object names in DHTML, to just experimenting.. trying something new for the fuck of it.

Her layout was clean and flowing. That damn circle on the main page always confounded me. I know how it was done, sure, but I just couldn't figure out how I would have gone about doing it if I had tried without seeing it first. It was one of the first things that really grabbed me.

Hell, if I was bored, I'd sometimes hoof it over to Chunk and just move my mouse around the circle, giggling like a schoolgirl as it lit up in colors and words.

She said she's doing something new. I'm excited about that. But I'll still be nostalgic about playing with all the toys she made, and then teaching myself how she made them.

Yeah. I'm gonna miss Chunk. So sue me if I get a little misty.

February 5, 1999 I want to help. I've always wanted to help. It's just in me. I'm sorry.

But I know I can.

January 13, 1999 What is this thing people have for using the line "I think we both know what I mean" when explaining themselves? Well, if I did, would I need you to even explain this much to me?

People seem to have an aversion from coming out and saying something. They have this self-serving ideal where they think that what is important to them, and has a certain meaning to them, is the meaning or understanding that everyone else, or at least the person they are concerned with has.

You see it played out on screen in a million different teenage angst films between girlfriend and boyfriend, girlfriend and girlfriend. Guy friends usually end up in a fist fight before this point, though.

People are cryptic for a purpose. They have taken something personally, and assumed facts. They take clues where there are no clues. And then they think you understand it all. So, why be cryptic? Maybe itís way of avoiding this truth. For if you put something down, on paper, or voice it in words, it exists. It stands there in front of you and you need to back it up.

You need to explain it, understand it. It no longer is some oblique concept, but a statement of fact. By referring to "we both know what I mean," you avoid responsibility. The onus is on the receiver to figure it out, because the statement somehow implies that the receiver originally hatched this whole thing in the first place.

Itís a line for people who think theyíre crafty. Itís a line for people who think they are especially introspective.

But really, itís a line for people who think inside the box. Itís a line for people who canít pull away from their own biases and beliefs long enough to recognize that everyone is not just like them.

December 5, 1998 God, that buy a fucking heart transplant comment was almost uncalled for. Then I re-read what I wrote and will definately stand behind it.

Anyway, I'm in a plane today and I suddenly thought of something.

You know what amazes me? Air. Yes, air. When a breeze blows, and you feel it, it is actually a billion invisible molecules pushing against you, creating enough pressure for you to feel it.

(pausing for you to go 'Woah.. you know I never really thought of that.')

But wait, it gets even more freaky. Something invisible, that has no real desernable mass in the real world (outside of microscopes and laboratories) can actually move your clothing, a leaf, a bag tossed in the street absentmindly by some passerby. The invisible, and minute particles acting in concert to effect change and movement upon a solid object billions of times larger than themselves.

Yeah, woah.
November 24, 1998 Know what? I came across this true on-line soap opera story about a guy (Wil) who's mate (Kim) of nine years up and left him. Now, according to Pamie's significant other thinks that what Kim did was terribly romantic.

Ptewy. Yuck, spit, and all that.

What she did was self-centered and selfish. She indicates that she was into this other guy since day one.. and only because she thought he wouldn't have her, she stayed with Wil. Well, now, how nice of her to use Wil for nine years because he was convenient. If she knew she wanted someone else, why stay with the other person? Just knowing you would rather be with someone else should be a screaming indication that you don't care enough about the person you're with to continue the relationship.

Continuing it just shows that you want to be comfortable - and you don't care about the person you're with being that every day you lie to them - you lie to them about them being the one for you, about them meaning the most to you, about everything.

And I'm not even talking about a little fling on the side.. oh, that would be just too easy. This is a nine year affair. Yes, nothing physical may have happened up until now, but the affair, the feelings, the deception was there for nine years. The ploy Kim had to demand Wil propose and they get married a simple attempt to further deceive - to place theblame on Wil for not proposing and getting married before now, and therefore HE is now the cause of all the misery and heartbreak.

Oh no! No sympathy for the poor romantic girl who has decided the grass is greener and, like a job, has got up, prepared a resume, interviewed, and upgraded her salary. God, this just pisses me off to all hell.

And the kicker? He still loves her, will take her back. Can someone pin a 'Kick Me' sign on his back for me? There is no One. There are better people out there for you than someone that will use you for the convenience of not being lonely and then dump you for fresh meat.

Life is becoming too much like television. People are so into themselves. I can understand some self-centeredness here and there.. a fall off the wagon, if you will.. but nine continuous years of deception - ready at the drop of a hat to drop the person you're with, that you've said you love.

First, buy a fucking dictionary and learn the meaning. Then I'll put you on a transplant list for a fucking heart.

October 16, 1998   Ha! I must be, like so cool, so on the cutting edge, it isn't even funny. Really. I mean, all the stuff I've written, suddenly, I notice tons of other people are now writing about it. I start fads and fashions. That can be the only explanation for it.

What the hell am I talking about?

The 'dreams' thing. Jodi Shapiro is talking about dreams. So is Scott. So are a few other places I forgot to bookmark.

And you see, Jodi's also involves religion. Which I also brought up.

I'm telling you, I'm a catalyst. Gather together talented writers. Add Rich. Instant content.
October 13, 1998   You know, along those lines (October 6), I was just thinking. Geeze, I am one opinionated bastard. Really. I will argue a point for hours until the other person concedes are just gets too tired to argue anymore. It is few and far between occassions when I fail to defend a position. I suppose I can consider that a character flaw.
October 6, 1998   I think I'd be dangerous if I actually knew more. I mean, I teeter on the edge of actually having a clue, but my brain power is so divided over ten to first different topics, I can't find any mastery in any one of them.

I think any excellent effort would need to be a team effort; one person an expert in each of their disciplines and me at the helm, directing. But then the problem would be with a shared vision. Without a shared vision, the group would splinter into factions, each running together, but towards their own true goals, subverting the ultimate end to runner up, second place, a could have been instead of the lofty promise it originally held.

Depressing, isn't it?
September 10, 1998   

You know, I never pictured myself becoming a father, homeowner, and concerned township man, but I see the stupidity level of some of these people out here running things like the Board of Education. I mean, really. Hasn't anyone got a freakin' smart bone in their body? Most of these idiots seem to be doing these things for their own personal benefit, as opposed to actually trying to do something good.

Explain this to me: an independent fact finder comes into a two year old negotiation, give his recommendation on the fairest contract for both sides. What kind of self-absorbed ass does it take to say 'nah, I want more.'? Huh? Tell me.
August 6, 1998    5:31 pm: Just for the record, I'm on the train home.

This is the definition of irony: There is an article in the 'Circuits' section of the New York Times today (Thursday) about Bill Gates establishing himself as the Lorenzo de' Medici of web and now putting all that content out on the Web under his private company, Corbis Corporation. The irony? The picture of the web site featured in the article is using Netscape Communicator for browsing. (smirk)

12:39 pm: You know, I've got no idea why I bothered trying to update this page right now. I haven't had any random though other than thinking I must be looking for some kind of validation for putting the effort into this site as I do.
August 5, 1998    3:33 pm: I stayed up way to late last night. Just for the heck of it. Not drinking, partying, or anything else. And now I'm paying for it. Dearly. I hate hump day. But Friday - I go on vaca for two weeks! Wooo - hooo! Argh, too much excitment for my tired brain right now.
August 4, 1998    12:30 p.m. Contrast. That's it. Design is all in the contrast on the page. You have one pattern, and you don't get that good contrast which makes everything look all the more striking, frames your paragraphs,a nd the rest of your text.

3:33 p.m. You know, I've seen the word 'pontificate' twice today on two sites that I went to one right after the other. It disturbed me. I'm not sure why - one reason may be because my own vocabulary (for someone who tries to fancy himself a writer) is severely lacking and revolves around maelstrom (learned during the SAT's) and pyroclasmic (learned reading National Geographic), and when I am writing, I can think of no other word for 'pretty' than 'pretty', or the phrase 'express opinions upon' while it is painfully apparent that if I pontificate, then I'd have it. I commonly use the Thesaurus on the web, but come away still lacking the best words for use by a real writer. The other reason would be that it amazes me that people throw these big words out, like they use them in every day conversation. But if someone were to actually speak to me and ask me to pontificate about something, I might just have to laugh in their face, soda shooting out of my nose.